O is the kind of teenage daughter that makes an already half-crazy, occasionally-befuddled and always-exhausted mom want to applaud her courage, shake my head at her bold personality, and scream at her sassy attitude all in the same day. All of this, her courage, personality and sass if well cultivated and handled with grace and refinement will prepare her for real world experiences, I hope.
I have to remind myself that O’s life has been redirected just as much as mine, maybe even more. I find subtle ways to show her that she can be gentle and softhearted while being bold and strong (with a little sass). O will hold my hand in the car on the way to school and talk to me about her friends and the girls whom are not her friends. She will tell me about her studies and plans for the future and she will even tell me about her latest crush. When she needs time with just mom, she will ask if we can lay in bed and talk. These conversations are the refining moments in her life, when she feels she can share with me anything and we laugh and cry together, and I get a glimpse into the smile and tears of the young women I am proud of.
O brightens my life and I have found happiness in being her mom.
I think the most beautiful creature God has created is the male peacock. The brilliant colors of his feathers are stunning. The length of his tail as he lays resting under a tree, awesome. The full fan of his vibrant feathers as they stand erect, showing off the beauty and basking in the attention is positively astounding. The beauty of this bird has inspired me and my happiness. I choose to surround myself with brilliant greens, rich blues, deep purples and touches of warm gold and oranges in my home. Ironically I have found peace in resting quietly surrounded by these bold and brazen colors.
Recently I have started to visit a near by park where peacocks freely roam. Bringing berries and grapes to feed them as I enjoy watching them rest under the trees, run from excited children, and saunter while showing off their beauty.
It has become a happy place for me to visit.
*photo credit goes to my son, who sent me this picture he took at the Idaho Falls Zoo while visiting his grandma.
My youngest A, is almost 4 years old. She has brought more joy to my life that I realized I would ever need. She was a very unexpected addition to our family and came when I needed her the most. She brakes out into song in the most unusual moments . She runs into a room exclaiming her love for you. Thank yous aren’t always enough, it is often attached to “that’s perfect mom!” She is the chef of silly faces, skilled with screeching voices, and master dancing feet. She’s curious, always right, and full of love. She proudly claims, “I am my mom’s frweeteart!”
One of my most favorite stories of my frweetheart that makes me smile and brings me happiness was when we got our pet snake. Her enthusiasm for this slithering creature is amusing. I was a nervous as I anticipated the first feeding, not sure how A would feel about it. As I pulled a frozen pinkie mouse out of the freezer to thaw A said with a little disbelief, “The mouse is dinner!” My oldest daughter heard this and quickly came into the room, upset that I was hiding pinkie mice in the freezer. A with a very serious voice and one hand on here hip said to her older sister, “O, the snake is fam-a- ly!! The mouse eats cheese, it’s okay!” O, mumbled under her breath, “that doesn’t make any since A” as she walked off. A sighed and looked bewildered as she turned her attention back to the snake, Redd. She noticed I had already put dinner near the snake. Anxious for the snake to eat and concerned he might not fit the mouse in his mouth she cheered him on. “Come on snake, you can do it!” Watching Redd open his mouth wide and swallow the last of the mouse, “Yay! you did it, good snake.”
I continue to find happiness in my frweetheart…
Shortly after I asked my ex-husband for a divorce, I started to look around our home and think about the things we had collected over the nineteen years we lived together. The beautiful soft blue sofa and loveseat where we often gathered our children for family move nights; I remembered the first time we saw it and fell in love with the color and style, deciding it was perfect for our living room. However, that round table to right of the sofa, he found that at a consignment store, it is sturdy and worn with a little character, leather inset on top. Not a table I would have looked twice at, but it complements our meshed eclectic styles. The artwork on the wall, that’s all him too and isn’t unique to us. We often found the same red poppy fields in other’s homes. The vintage camera collection from my early days in the photography industry, that’s my happy place. My adventures in finding the perfect photo that spoke to me is behind some of those cameras, others I have only dreamt of using. I always wanted my work displayed in my home and that’s when it hit me. Overwhelmed with emotions knowing that the living room I was standing in was not really mine anymore, I decided It’s time for me to create my own happily ever after.